


Meant to be mine

by shihoran



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic, the foxhole court
Genre: Abuse, Canon Divergence, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Perfect Court
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-24
Updated: 2017-04-29
Packaged: 2018-10-23 12:27:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10719348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shihoran/pseuds/shihoran
Summary: From the moment he witnessed the heavy iron fall, splitting skin and flesh and bones in parts, Riko Moriyama knew he was special.“Never forget who you are and what you are. You are a son of Moriyama.” Tetsuji’s voice was heartless and potent. “You carry the future of Exy. You are born to be a star. You are born for greatness. And I will not tolerate any stain to our name, do you understand?”“Yes, Uncle.” Riko echoed and felt every cell in his body burn.[This fic covers the time between Nathaniel running away and Riko breaking Kevin's hand, aiming for a character study concering the question of "How did Riko grow up into what we know in the canon?". Additional Tags will be added as the story unfolds. Extra warnings will come in their respective chapter notes. See Chapter1 Notes for more info. Riko POV.]





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Taking a dip into the youth and mind of Riko Moriyama, because I didn't find anything the like and because I just want to.  
> Details are taken from Nora's page(http://korakos.tumblr.com/fox) on Rivals/Riko. There might be alterations, though, examples include, but are not limited to: Non canon character inserts, timeline divergence, etc.
> 
> A heads up about warnings/tags: There will be more added as the story progresses, because IDK how willing/able I am to display whatever Riko is coming up with(see: Riko's violence towards Jean: mental and physical abuse, torment, rape/non-con, etc.).
> 
> Notes at the beginning of a chapter will specify any warning/tag, that goes beyond the canon-typical violence and/or are specifically written as warnings in AO3. If I deem a chapter especially "heavy", I will add an external link to a summary.
> 
> Rule of thumb: I'm not going to depict any gruesome act of any kind if it doesn't serve the plot in any way.

Riko Moriyama stood quietly at the railing of a viewer row, where he could overlook other boys his age handling racquets and absolving drills together. He had never met any of them before and neither did he know their names, but they had been given coloured tricots with numbers on them, which helped telling them apart. His eyes were quick to pick out those he felt had the potential of matching him in court. One in particular stuck out to him. He was small, looked almost too slender for the stick he was carrying, but he was quick and smart and Riko swore he caught the glimpse of a grin behind the helmet. The group was then split into two teams for a practice match.

Tides of excitement tickled through the tips of his fingers, that itched to feel a racquet’s weight, and down to his toes, that yearned for nothing but quick steps, solid ground beneath his soles as he dashed with lightning speed across the hall - he wanted the rush of a game with new opponents. Sitting aside was one of the most unbearable thing, he thought. He wanted to show what he was made of. He wanted to be on the court. 

Just a moment after the thought a door opened behind him and the grand figure of a man ripped Riko’s attention from the game as he almost involuntarily stepped aside, before he caught himself. They were standing within the range of another’s presence, that is, the range where either of them could still hear each other just fine, without needing to raise their voice.

Riko’s head bowed slightly. There was no telling if Tetsuji even regarded him any more than a second and just as he knew he paid enough respect and able to put his eyes back onto the court, Tetsuji spoke.

“Did any one of these catch your eyes?”

For a second the boy thought he hallucinated, but he was composed enough to straighten his back, expression trained to not betray him. “Yes.”, he replied in earnest and, as he had no names to go on, listed a handful of numbers. Tetsuji was silent, his eyes firm on the game, and Riko turned to watch as well. The boys dashed around the court and again, he felt that insaturable hunger to return to the place where he felt he belonged.

“Pick a favourite.”, Tetsuji said. Riko’s head whipped around.  
“Kevin is already your Striker. Now pick the other positions.”

He was talking about the perfect court and Riko felt his chest fill to the brim with the giddy delight of an almost christmas experience. It was like picking through an endless display of racquets and then finally, finding one of a perfect size, weight and fit for his hands and he was not going to let go. He was going to make this new chesspiece to the court his left hand man, as Kevin was already positioned at his right. His eyes darted around the court yet again and instantly caught on the slender boy he noticed before as one of the Backliners. His excitement dared to send shivers down to his fingertips. His court was one step closer to perfection.

“This one.” He called out the number. “I want this one.”

Tetsuji acknowledged his decision by moving down towards the court, but before Riko could follow suit, the door behind him opened a second time and in strode a woman with dark hair and stern green eyes. A powerful presence that he couldn’t miss, but his interest gravitated instantly towards the boy not shy his age, that trailed a few steps behind her. When their eyes met, they both shot each other cheeky grins. 

“Day.” Tetsuji greeted the woman with the hint of a smile and a firm handshake. “Moriyama.”, she replied. Her grip was as firm as his, as they both acknowledged each other with equal respect and while the air of familiarity between them never escaped Riko, he couldn’t help but to hold his gaze locked with Kevin’s, after he bowed deeply to Tetsuji. 

“I’ve picked out a new member for the court.”, he hushed, as the other approached him. “Who is it?” “You’ll see.” Kevin nodded and now they both were buzzing with quiet excitement. 

“I don’t have much time right now, but I’ll be leaving Kevin here for the night. You don’t mind, do you?”  
“Of course not.” There were wrinkles to the side of his eyes when he regarded her. “Kevin is always welcome. And so are you.” Kayleigh smiled.  
“Too bad I missed the Little League game, but you’ll tell me how it went?”  
“Riko already decided on his new teammate. We were just about to introduce ourselves.”  
“Good, good.” Her eyes fell to her wristwatch. “I really have to go now, I’m sorry, and thank you, Tetsuji.” She turned towards Riko and Kevin, who had stuck their heads together in commentary and discussion about the on going game.

“Kevin.”, Kayleigh called out to him and he turned, eyes wide with enjoyment even though his hands were steady on the railings. “I’m leaving now. You’re alright? I’m coming to pick you up tomorrow afternoon. Be nice.” Kevin’s smile hung crooked from his mouth. “Yes, Mom.”, he replied dutifully and Riko scoffed at him from out of her sight. Then, she left as quickly as she came.

Riko and Kevin peeled themselves off the railing and, as orderly as they could muster in their state, scrambled over to follow Tetsuji down to the court. The man gestured briefly and it was enough to have the signal go off, ending the game. They weren’t supposed to play a full game, anyway, but the young players seemed confused by the interruption, albeit for a moment. They were ordered by an assistant to fall into line and remove their headgear; and Tetsuji, once everyone was settled, let his eyes wander over them.

He announced the usual formalities, about how glad he was to see them and even spared a few glances to the watchful parents just outside the plexiglass across the field, before he finally returned to the purpose of this game. “We have decided on who we deem worthy of becoming a Raven and on top of that, who will become the next member of Riko’s personal ensemble. The best of the best. Now if you are called out, introduce yourself to him. The other ones will leave.” The bottom of his cane knocked on the hard floor. Riko’s spine straightened even more than before, and he felt Kevin do the same next to him. He smiled, eyes focused on the few that he had chosen and listed the numbers.

They stepped forward, one after another and made their own little line in front of those who were not chosen, introduced themselves to Riko, but didn’t dare to reach out in an attempt to shake his hand. Which was fine enough by him. Just when he called the last number, the one that he favoured above all, his smile widened and he stretched out his hand. The other boy looked at him with curious blue eyes and took his hand. “I’m.. Nathaniel Wesninski.” Riko’s grip lingered.

“Welcome to my court, Nathaniel.” 

“What?” One of those called out raised his voice and met Riko’s eyes with an angry stare. “What do you mean he got chosen? Isn’t this a two day exam? I’m way better than him!”

“Then prove it on the court tomorrow.”, he replied coolly as he let go of Nathaniel’s hand. “That’s all that matters.” 

“That’s stupid. You already have one, it’s unfair! I’m not playing your game anymore.”

“Oh.”, Riko spared him a glance through half lidded eyes, but these words were sparks in his chest. No one ever called him stupid or denied him game. No one. “Let’s talk about this, shall we? In private.” His eyes darted around the line up and he waved a hand. “You others are dismissed. Nathaniel, you stay.” The red headed boy nodded. Tetsuji knocked his cane against the floor. “Take this to the Tower.”

-

From the moment he witnessed the heavy iron fall, splitting skin and flesh and bones in parts, Riko Moriyama knew he was special.

Perhaps he had always fostered that thought somewhere within himself, when Tetsuji’s assistants regarded him with earnest respect; addressing him in the ways they would address his uncle whenever that man decided to make an appearance. Which was rare, but his looming dominance left a dent in Riko’s memory every single time, even without them ever exchanging a word.

Warm blood puddled in front of his feet, not quite reaching him but it was close enough to paint his entire field of vision in red. He peeled his eyes off and looked across the room, where Kevin and Nathaniel stood side by side, both chalk like and wide eyed, so unlike the saturated sea. So unlike the red of Nathaniel’s and the Butcher’s hair.

“This” His uncle’s voice roared deep and low through the room, a heavy hand placed on Riko’s shoulder. “is the fate that awaits those who defy the Moriyamas.”

The touch bore no kindness and Riko wasn’t naive enough to fabricate anything the like. He watched the other boys his age gasp and vaguely nod to verify they’ve heard him. Their bodies were as tense as their faces, before Tetsuji spoke again.

“You are dismissed.” The weight disappeared from his shoulder and men clad in black that had stood next to the entrance of this room closed in to guide the two out. When the door shut again Riko met the eyes of the butcher who had already moved on from the event, idly cleaning off his axe with almost affectionate gestures. Their eyes met and locked for but a moment, before he flicked the blues over to Tetsuji and bowed his head in respect. 

“I will send someone for clean up.”, he said.  
“Good.”, Tetsuji replied. “You may leave.”

They exchanged knowing looks that Riko didn’t know how to place and then the Butcher removed himself out of the room with his own henchman greeting him outside. The door shut a second time.

Riko turned to his uncle, faintly aware of the dead body in the middle of the room and the blood that quietly threatened to taint him, but had already stagnated in its flow. There might be none left in the body, he thought, before he was interrupted.

“Get yourself together. You are a Moriyama.”, Tetsuji stated.

Puzzled beyond belief he dared to stare a second too long at the towering man, before he noticed the pain in his palms of nails dug too fiercely into skin. He noticed his own body, tense and cold, and he noticed the breath he’s been holding. He tried to breathe, tried to supply his lung with air, but the copper scent choked him, yet he remembered his manners. Riko bowed his head almost too fast, eyes staring at the floor as if he could melt the marble by sheer will alone, just to escape this feeling.

“Yes, Uncle.” His voice was rougher than he wanted it to be, but Tetsuji was right. He was a Moriyama, after all, and this is what happened to anyone daring to fight it. Riko, on the other hand, didn’t have to fight, being one. It was his blood, his life, the very heartbeat was proof that he was a Moriyama. 

“Never forget who you are and what you are. You are a son of Moriyama.” Tetsuji’s voice was heartless and potent. “You carry the future of Exy. You are born to be a star. You are born for greatness. And I will not tolerate any stain to our name, do you understand?”

“Yes, Uncle.” Riko echoed and felt every cell in his body burn.

The cold end of Tetsuji’s cane touched his skin, forcing his head up. His eyes were unfeeling as he searched Riko’s face for maybe defiance, anything that would give him a reason to misuse that walking stick of his. When he found nothing of such, Tetsuji removed his cane, but not without giving the boy a hard prod to the shoulder.

“Return to the Nest. You are dismissed.”

Riko made his way out of the room and down the Tower of Evermore, the sound of each of his steps ricocheted from empty dark walls, higher than he could crane his neck up to if he had looked up. But he didn’t. He stared down at each step he made, one step, two steps, his feet coming into sight beneath him and before he knew it, they came faster, until he was running; taking on flights of stairs in his momentum down and down and down. He allowed himself to stop and gasp once his feet hit stepless flat surface and he let his lungs take in the air free of the copper stench. He is a Moriyama. Of course, he was. He is the star of the new dawn. Of course, he was. Someone died, because they were stupid enough to defy him. Of course, of course.

The breaths he took didn’t still despite how much air he forced down, until he heard someone laugh. Someone laughed, in these empty halls; these dark, lonely, prison like walls that he had never seen the outside of, that he called home - and that someone, he became acutely aware of - was himself.

Within the half of a second he found his hand slammed hard against the nearby wall and himself dry heaving, until his knees gave away. He shivered, trying to tame himself as he gasped for air, but in between this and his heaving he heard it again, his own voice and his own laughter. Moriyama. Riko Moriyama. The star. The future. The one no one defies. The one who is always right. His own voice sounded coarse in his head as it spun his thoughts without any particular direction, except in circles, and he was in the center of it all.

It took a few moments, maybe minutes, maybe hours, maybe the whole afternoon before he had pulled himself out of the incoherent mess of images and thoughts he had no idea how to put into words. There were flashes of him in court, him, Kevin and Nathaniel winning Olympics, him returning to the Raven Nest after and putting his trophies and medals on the shelf, and then the dismantled body before him; the blood, the scream before the first hit landed, the choked gurgle. Riko fisted the wall and willed his thoughts back to who he was and his goal. His path in life. His purpose. And then he stood up, straightened his back and breathed, in and out and in and out. Good. His hands slid through his hair, combing it back and then he dusted himself off. Good, good. Without looking back, he returned to his room in the Raven Nest.

When he arrived, Kevin was sitting still on the floor with this back against the bed and his face several shades close to normal, but still all too pale. He looked up at Riko and for a moment time stopped. “...Hey.”, Kevin mustered quietly, his hands clenched without strength. Riko closed the door and shoved his hands into his pockets, casually leaning his weight on one leg. 

“You look dead.” 

Kevin paled again. “No, stop. This is bad.”, he croaked.

“What is? He defied me and he got what he deserved.”

“This is wrong, Riko.”

There it was again, the spark that ignited all of this and his relentless rage, but this time it came from the one that was meant to be by his side, was meant to be his. “Kevin.”, he snarled, losing his cool before he could tame himself. His hands slid out of his pockets. “You’re telling me I’m wrong? You defy me? You, of all people?”

The other jerked up on his legs, when Riko crossed the room towards him. They both were breathless, their chests almost touching. “No, Riko, no.” “Say it.” Green eyes stared at him, bewildered. “Say it, Kevin.” Kevin’s jaw clenched and forcefully swallowed down whatever else he had in mind. “...You’re right, Riko.” He raised an eyebrow. Kevin’s voice was but a whisper. “You’re always right, Riko.”

Their silence lasted until a smile crept back on his face and he stepped away from the other boy. This will do, Riko thought. And then he moved to his desk, rummaged through some of the drawers. “You know what? I just had a great idea.”, he hummed, pulling out a black marker. He shuffled across the room into the bath, leaving a puzzled Kevin behind. 

Riko found himself in the mirror, his eyes exhausted and his hair a mess that he had tried to tame, but in fact failed to do so. This trivia distracted him for a while. He needed to fix this. Later. His hands uncapped the marker and a faint sweet smell tickled his nose, before he angled his face into position. The marker was hard and cold against his skin, but nothing in comparison to Tetsuji’s cane. This was something he owned. Kevin and Nathaniel were things he owned. When he was done, there was an “1” painted on right below his eye. 

Meanwhile, Kevin had sank onto the bed, still stiff from tension. “Calm down, Kevin.”, Riko ordered offhandedly and shoved his knees against the bed, between Kevin’s, who moved back to find balance with palms on the mattress. It bothered Riko that their eyes didn’t meet, so he grabbed his chin and forced Kevin to face him. “Look at me.” Green eyes reluctantly followed the order and fell immediately onto the number. Riko answered. “This will be our mark. Our sign.” He grinned. “I’m number one. You’re number two. Nathaniel is three.” The marker cap fell onto the sheet next to their legs. “We’ll be the perfect court, Kevin. We’ll be unstoppable. Don’t you want it, too? As long as I lead, no one will defy me. No one will defy” His fingers pressed into Kevin’s jaw. “us.”

When their eyes met again, he saw something ghosting behind Kevin’s, something potent, a spark in the grim dark of this event. It might have been despair. Kevin swallowed. “Do you want it?”, Riko asked again. He knew he had him. “Yes.”, Kevin replied steadily, hands balling to fists. “I want.. I want it.” Riko found himself almost laughing as he angled Kevin’s face and drew right below his eye the number “2”.

Riko and Kevin spent the entire evening and all through the night talking about the new additions to the Raven team, and Riko detailed their movements, skills and their potential on the court, but they didn’t spare the one that defied Riko another word. Despite being only there for half of the time, Kevin already agreed that Nathaniel was the best pick to be Number Three. Tomorrow they would be revisiting their mistakes and they would see how much they would be able to improve after receiving advise. Both of them waved off any concern, confident in their choice. When they couldn’t keep their eyes open anymore, they tucked themselves into their sleepwear and Kevin crept into his own bed on the opposite side of the room. Riko was laying down in his own and his head turned when he noticed the busy rustling of the sheets, dark hair sticking out from the blankets. Aside the fact that his mouth was dry and numb from talking, he didn’t bother with wishing Kevin a goodnight. They were going to be up in a few hours anyway for drills. The second part of the examination was at noon. He didn’t notice his own hand clenching until he moved to turn off the light on his nightstand and hesitated a moment when the flashes of choked screams and red filled his vision. His expression cramped up and he forced his body to move, and then, it was all dark.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are two new non canon characters, because having Kevin and Riko exist in a vacuum is kinda not a thing.
> 
> Warning: Implied Child Abuse.

Sleep lasted as long as the bat of an eye. Riko jerked awake with the sensation of his body burning, but his sweat being sticky and cold to the touch. His jaw clenched tight as he evaluated the ceiling, frowned when he remembered that he wasn’t alone in the room and turned to see where the other figure would be. He heard Kevin sleeping quietly in the other bed. The distance between them felt like a cold and relentless ocean, though he did consider the effort to cross it. He searched and hit the top of his clock, lighting up the display. The lack of windows in the room meant that his eyes were momentarily blinded, so he squinted and waited until he could see again. Too early, he thought, yet he forced himself to sit up. There was no point in going back to sleep like this and in an hour, the wake up call would sound and rustle the nest awake, anyway. He disregarded the fact that Kevin was still asleep and turned on the light on his nightstand, before getting out of bed and crossing the room for the bath to get himself ready.

When he returned, Kevin was sitting up. Their eyes met. He couldn’t tell if Kevin’s colouring returned or not, or if he was still beside himself, but he also didn’t want to pursue yesterday any further. What’s in the past, is there and stays there. Only the results matter. Kevin’s body slumped over and he pressed his face in his hands. Maybe he wasn’t as ready as Riko thought he was. “Get up. We have drills.” Kevin groaned. “Get up.” With a fistful of fabric he wrenched the blanket off his body and got an even louder groan in return, followed by a whimper due to the shift in temperature. Kevin pulled a pillow over himself and curled up into a ball.

Riko tossed the blanket aside and climbed feet first onto the bed, before putting his cold sole against Kevin’s calf. He jerked it back, rolled to his back and grunted Riko’s name in his sleep drunken voice; trying to sound tough and failing miserably. “You’re pathetic.”, Riko snorted and sat down on his legs, feeling the heat radiating from Kevin’s body jarring in contrast to his own temperature. “Sit ups. You can at least do that.” Kevin sighed, but even in this state or maybe especially in this state he had no energy to oppose. His upper body moved with his pillow still clutched tight in his arms as he did as he was ordered to. Each movement bringing him an unwilling step further to waking up, and Riko couldn’t help but sneer at the sight.

Perhaps half an hour later, the wake up call rang through the halls and it was only a moment after, that the walls echoed the Ravens’ sounds. Some of them talked quietly, most of them just shuffled their feet to wherever they needed them to be. Kevin fell like a heavy square on his back. “Riko!”, he exhaled. “It wasn’t even time!” “And you still did what I told you to.” He shot back and pulled the pillow out of Kevin’s arms. “Valiant efforts, truly. Now stop complaining.” And then slammed the pillow hard in his face, chuckling, before getting back up on his feet. “Get ready.”

By the time Kevin was done, they joined the other Ravens for a quick breakfast, before they moved in groups of two or three into the changing rooms, getting their gear on and climbing up to the stadium above them. The first half an hour consisted of stretching and warm ups leading into traditional Raven drills of quick paced, high intensity sportsmanship that asked nothing but the best of all of them.

Being too young to join in the actual drills, Kevin and Riko only followed the first half an hour of the training, before they pulled back to the side of the court, where another Raven was already waiting for them, carrying three racquets. “What’s that on your face?” He handed two of the sticks over. “Our mark and rank.”, Riko replied, sticking out his chest. “I’m number one and Kevin’s number two.” The older Raven grinned crookedly. “Sounds good to me, Captain.” It was a term of endearment, as far as Riko could tell. Another Raven, the true Captain of the team, popped up beside him, carrying a rough expression. “You call him that again?” “I can’t help it.” Riko sneered, holding his head high despite the apparent height difference between him and the Captain. The older one narrowed his eyes, but turned to look at the other, instructing him which drills Riko and Kevin would be taught for today until they were dismissed to watch the examination for the potential members that had been picked out yesterday. Then, he left, and the boys followed the drills they were instructed to take on with the grim earnesty every Raven had ingrained into their bones.

It was only when the bell rang to announce the break after morning practice that the Ravens collected the balls that had scattered across the court during practice and put them all orderly back into the buckets. Some of them already pulled their helmets off while they left the court, sparing Kevin and Riko acknowledging looks; some of them friendly, some of them grim from practice. Riko meanwhile let the net of his racquet touch the floor, feeling the shiver in his arms and legs as he caught his breath. He pulled off his helmet, black hair sticking in all directions. When Riko turned to look at Kevin, he as well had removed his gear and was cooling down.

“Good going, guys.” The older Raven flashed them his crooked grin. He had been instructing and moving, but the training for them was more akin to a walk in the park for him. “You’ll be ahead of the new kids when summer break’s over. I heard you already picked some from yesterday?” “Yeah. We have.. interesting ones.” He pushed down the image of a visage drenched in blood, and picked out what he wanted to see - the red haired boy with the blue eyes. He grinned before he knew it, now picturing his ensemble playing together. The Raven hummed in response to Riko’s expression, something curious flickered behind his eyes, but before he could mention it, he was called out. “Michael, quit slacking off!” The captain stood half the court away from them, putting the last buckets neatly along the lines for the young guests later on. “Coming!”, Michael shouted in response and gave the two younger ones one last flashy grin. “We’re counting on you, little captain.” And off he went.

Before he knew it, Kevin stepped closer to him and when Riko turned, their eyes met again. His grin crept back, almost mirroring the crookedness of the older Raven, before he lightly knocked his racquet into Kevin’s. He got a knock back, a huffed almost laugh and moments later they were hitting their racquets against each other, engaging in a giggle ridden play pretend sword fight.

When Kevin gasped just once too hard, Riko stopped in his tracks and tried to turn around, but the cold steel bottom of an all too familiar cane already bore itself harsh against his back, freezing Riko in his movements. Kevin stepped back, bowing his head deeply before Tetsuji. “Master” He started, insecurity lacing his voice. “I see you’re enjoying yourself.” From the way Kevin held his position, stiff and frightened, Riko could tell that the expression on his uncle’s face was less than pleasant. “Uncle, we-” The cane was lifted from his back, just to be thrusted back between his shoulder blades, sending him flying into Kevin. They both stumbled, but managed to hold each other from falling over. “Next time I see you fooling around on my court I won’t be as lenient. Our guests are in the changing room. Greet them.”

“Yes, Uncle.”, pushed out of Riko, both the boys bowing their heads again, clutching their racquets to their chests, and moved as quick as they could without running towards the changing rooms. Kevin pushed open the door and when Riko walked past, he grabbed his arm, letting the door fall shut. “Hey-” Riko stared at him, the heat on his back spreading through his chest. “Are you-” He shrugged Kevin off, annoyed by his concern, and continued to walk. “Come on, we have new teammates to meet.” “..Okay.” They went down the hallway that connected court to the changing room. Riko was the first to arrive at the door. He paused, checked his breathing, straightened his back and ignored the narrowed green eyes on him, before opening the door to the changing room.

In the room itself were Michael with a clipboard, the Captain, and several of those numbers that Riko had called out yesterday; but he noticed quickly that some were unfamiliar, as he couldn’t place a name on them. And then he noticed, that some were missing entirely. “Alright, alright.”, Michael clapped his hands. “We’re done with the revisions, so get into the tricots and numbers you had yesterday and wait for us on the court.” The players shuffled around towards the door where Riko was standing, eyes hard and full of suspicion. Some of them greeted him quietly, some nodded, but he didn’t know what was going on and he didn’t care to step aside before he knew it. “Where are the rest of my players. And who are these?” He gestured at the unknown faces. Michael looked flustered, so the Captain spoke up. “Ah, yeah, some of them were no good. So we decided who to take on and who not.” “We were there too, yesterday. On the benches.”, Michael explained. The benches were hidden from sight from Riko had been watching the game. He didn’t notice them at all. There was a whole different kind of heat spreading in his chest, to his neck and to his fists. “My uncle gave me his approval.” “Coach Tetsuji gave us the last word.”, the Captain returned with a brow raised. “Now, if you would move, we don’t want him waiting, do we?” A crooked little smile was pulled over Michael’s face, meant to be soothing and Riko would have loved to shove both of them really hard; the Captain for talking like that and Michael for allowing this to happen. He felt a movement behind him and was reminded that Kevin was there, and he forced himself to move aside, allowing the players and the Captain to pass. Michael stayed.

When the last one had passed them he took a deep breath and turned, knuckles white. “Where is Nathaniel?”, Riko asked in a low voice. The older Raven flipped through the list. “Mm, he’s still on here.” “But he isn’t here.” He met the other’s eyes. “No.” Michael replied. “He isn’t. Maybe something came between?” Now Riko’s patience snapped, his fist slammed into one of the lockers. “He’s my Three! Where is he? If you think you can fool me again-” Michael raised his hands in defence. “I’m not fooling you.” After a beat, he offered the clipboard to him. “Your choices were good, Riko, don’t get worked up. We just have more experience than you, and maybe we were looking for other qualities.” In an act of defiance, Riko slapped the list to the floor, hard plastic sounding loudly. He was supposed to chose. He was supposed to have a say in this. He was supposed to have been acknowledged by his uncle, but he wasn’t - he might have just not said anything at all - or maybe this was all a test to gauge his experience. His back hurt from the tension in his muscles. Riko clenched his jaw, staring up in cold silence at the older Raven, before he couldn’t take it anymore and strode out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

Hasty feet carried him back to his room without knowing why he would even want to be there, but truth be told there was no other place that he could turn to even if he wanted it. Even there he slammed the door shut with a force that shook the walls. A breath in, a breath out, he tried to force himself to stay composed as a Moriyama should, as his uncle always was, but the thought of this man send a raging fit through his bones, sending his lamp on the nightstand flying through the room with a swing of his racquet. Glass and black ceramic shattered across the floor, the cable had been pulled out from the force and slithered loosely curled on the ground. His breathing was rough, uncoordinated, it wasn’t enough. It would never be enough. He would never be- Riko whipped his head around when the door opened. Kevin stood in the frame, grim faced and ever so concerned.

“Get out.”, Riko snarled.  
“Riko.”  
“Get out!”  
“Calm down!” 

Before he knew it he crossed the room towards Kevin, his racquet in the air and ready to whip down before their eyes locked again and froze him in motion. Their silence stretched out, like heavy weights on bodies too weak to carry. Suddenly, Riko let out a sound of fury, reached back and slammed the racquet next to Kevin’s head, feeling the impact vibrating through his hands and arms and shoulders. Kevin held his gaze. He felt his own mind numbing from the incoming thought that first whispered quietly, then seamlessly into his headspace, and when he couldn’t keep his jaw clenched tight anymore, he let it out as steadily as he could.

“I’m worth shit to my uncle.” 

Kevin didn’t reply, didn’t blink. He nodded instead, firm and short. He understood. Riko let his racquet fall to his side, thought of dropping it, but who would he be without it. His eyes stared at nothing in particular. He didn’t want to look at Kevin anymore, but there was nothing else to really look at in his room. Everything he had was exy. Everything he knew was exy. There was no comfort to be found in it, not right now. Exhaustion crept up on him and send shivers through all of his muscles. The gear he still wore felt so terribly heavy he thought he’d suffocate.

“How’s your… back.”, Kevin said it more like a statement, than a question.  
“Fine.”  
“Let me look at it.”

Riko lifted his head and frowned at him, suddenly his hand felt too weak to hold the racquet.  
“I said it’s fine. None of your business anyway.” Now it was Kevin’s turn to have his eyes narrow, not in concern, but in anger. His anger was quiet. Riko kept his gaze steady. 

“You said us.”  
“What do you mean?”  
“You said it was us.” Kevin pointed at his “2” below his eye. “If we are going to be an ‘us’, stop turning on me.”  
“I’m not.”  
“Then let me see.”

He felt the need to grip his racquet harder, at the same time, it grew so endlessly harder to do so without knowing why. Somehow Kevin had managed to turn this into his advantage. He looked down, clicked his tongue and stepped back in sour defeat, before leaning his racquet against the wall and circling the shattered mess on the floor. “It’s just a bruise.” He removed his shoes and climbed on the bed, sitting down; his back facing Kevin. “Not like anything new.” Riko started removing his shirt and the gear. He felt the green eyes following his every movement, and then the shift of weight on the mattress. Kevin was taller than him already, and probably sturdier, too. It made sense for his weight to have more impact. The last bit of fabric was discarded lazily on the floor. Riko stared holes into the sheet.

“This one.” Kevin started, but instead of pushing against the newly formed bruise between Riko’s shoulderblades, he found one right against his ribs at the side. Riko remembered it to be already fading from green to yellow. “Training.”  
“This one.” His fingers pressed lower, into softer flesh next to his spine. It might have been Green. Might have been Purple. He remembered the swing of the steel cane. “Training.”  
“This one.” He pressed against one right below one of his shoulder blade. That one still hurt. He remembered his face hot in anger against an unyielding floor. “Training.”

They were silent for a long time. Kevin had retreated his hands to himself and Riko busied himself with looking at nothing in particular, mind free of his uncle, or exy or anything else. Quiet exhaustion from the training made his muscles soft; only distantly he was aware of the weight of another person behind him.

“We’re gonna do better.”, Kevin said quietly.  
Riko turned his head, watched him from the corner of his eye. Kevin’s expression showed nothing but determination, and then he placed a finger to his number.

“We’re gonna be court.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: (Implied) Child Abuse

When Riko grasped the full meaning of Kevin’s sentence, time froze in place. He knew that it was himself who had always reached out for this goal, had always known that Kevin felt the same, but to have it spelled out for him as clear as day, by the tongue of another, he almost didn’t believe him. Kevin understood very well the story Riko’s bruises told, the anger that festered like a wound and grown this vulgar, unsightly beast in his chest. Kevin reached out to him in a language both of them understood more than they’d understand anything else. A small, twisted smile, not happy but genuine, ghosted over his lips. “We’re gonna be court.”, he echoed, raising a fist. Kevin met his knuckles with his.

By the afternoon, Kayleigh Day arrived at the Raven Nest to pick up Kevin. She’d had asked them how the revision game went and they came up with something along the lines of how their choices were already set and they were confident in their judgement. She seemed to beam at them, proud and all, but scolded them with the voice of an expert in her field. They still lacked experience, she said. It was important to see things through to the end. She’d been busy enough that she kept dropping Kevin off with Riko, so maybe her almost over the top motherly act was something infused by guilt or trying to cram as much Mom-Time into their little window as possible. Or something the like. Not like Riko could tell anything about mothers. Riko never quite understood her role in his life other than she somehow birthed Kevin and Exy and both were the things his life revolved around. Those things and nothing more. When she took Kevin by the hand and left again, Riko felt a part of him leave with them, but he knew Kevin would be back sooner or later, so he pushed his thoughts aside. They waved at each other, both waiting for the next time they’d meet.

It was about the same time when the afternoon call rang and urged the Ravens back to practice. The younger players already left the court, though Riko had lost his interest in them early enough today. He instructed a member of the staff to clean up the mess in his room and to replace his lamp, then hurried back to join the Raven’s march towards their Nest’s gym room. All of them had changed into their sportswear, equipped with a towel and a bottle of water; and scattered across the room between the different areas of focus. When they had finished their rounds, they would switch with their partners standing at their side or move around the room according to their routine. Riko stood at the sidelines to watch the coordinated chaos unfold, before he chanced upon Michael at the back with the Captain. Michael was training his back muscles, while the Captain kept watch and counted. Riko moved towards the resistance bands, joining two other Ravens already at work.

After he was greeted by them with a firm nod and the other finished their routine, he would take the place and start his own, while the bystander would keep count for him and instructed his movements. He was too young to do anything more than light muscle training, but he still made it a point to keep up with them, which the Raven approved of unabashedly. They praised him in their own serious, almost grim kind of way, and he bathed in it. Beggars can’t be choosers, he thought, but he felt insulted to think of himself a beggar. The words of his uncle ringed in his ears as he pushed himself for the last movement and sighed loudly when he was allowed let go.

Before he caught his breath a shudder went through the Ravens that turned all eyes to Michael stumbling into one of the machines, sounding a loud noise when it hit the nearby wall. Michael turned, ready to retaliate against the Captain until he was met with another fist to the face and fell to the floor, barks and spit following right after.  
“Give me your bullshit excuses again and you’ll see where I will shove them!”, he yelled, shoving his foot against the chest, holding Michael in place.  
“All I want from you is results on the court, I don’t care about anything else. Give them to me or get out of my sight!” When the Captain left the room, there were two people following him suit, because the Ravens never left to anywhere alone. Riko’s gaze meanwhile fell back onto Michael, who was still on the floor, coughing against the sensation of his lungs indented. The other Ravens returned to their routines without giving the scene any further thought.

“We’re moving on, Riko, you can watch if you want.” One of his current partners nodded towards a machine he was not allowed to use yet. He considered it and gave Michael one last look. There was something about getting up after being beaten and humiliated in front of a crowd, Riko thought, as he watched him get back on his feet and returning to a couple of Ravens, that included him into their routine, as if nothing ever happened. Riko accepted the offer and followed them.

-

What followed after strength training were sessions in cardio and other stamina building exercises, which Riko also followed for a fraction of the time the other Ravens invested into it. He retreated to the banks and watched them work to the end, and followed them when the evening bell ushered the end to their training for this day. They cleaned themselves up, changed and showered and talked about Exy. Everything they did, they did it together. Everything Riko did, he did it with them. When the first ones were done they poured out of the changing rooms and into the great lounge area, checking out the blackboard double check who was on cooking duty. It was, after all, easier to distribute chores instead of having everyone tangling up and into each other on just two stoves. Michael, so Riko registered, had drawn the straw of cleaning duty for the whole week, it seemed, because the man hasn’t been in the changing room like the others nor was he found in the lounge.

After the Ravens and Riko arranged themselves with meals, they scattered across the couches and other surfaces to rest on; some of them were still talking about Exy, others busied themselves with tabletop games, books, or staring blankly at one of the two TV screens set up. They were sixteen Ravens in total, including Riko. The closest to him in age were still seven years older, but all of them eventually cooed at him to join them in their endeavors of some sort of group bonding activity. Riko gravitated to any group that promised to be interesting, but he couldn’t deny his energy level dropping to almost zero when he eased into a place next to someone playing cards with his partner. His eyelids dropped for only a moment, but it was enough for the others to nudge their “Little Captain” to bed far earlier than they would. Four days a week they would be granted to rest their bodies, although one of those days still included light cardio and the standard Raven drills and all four days still had time busy with revisiting games, strategies and their progress as athletes. The boy felt his body melt beneath him like warm butter, so he gave up on declining the Ravens’ urges for him to go. Before he was all soft and basically liquid, he bid his goodnight and shuffled into his room, hitting his bed face first. The events of yesterday and today had him drained and now that he wasn’t occupied with Kevin or training, the images came flooding back to him in steady waves, growing bigger and bigger as time passed, carrying him off to sleep.

In the middle of the night, Riko hit shore. Hard. He gasped awake and stared into the darkness of his room, eyes wide and blind; his body cramped and hot with anguish. There were screams that faded into gargle, a body that limp and lifeless hit the floor, and red, red, red. He pulled his blanket as tightly around himself as he could, feeling the need of something holding him together before he would lose it again like he did at the end of those stairs. His mind raced and he willed himself to not fall into that endless downward spiral again. Even in this darkness, or maybe just because of this and knowing that he was all alone, red was still the dominant colour in his vision. He tried reaching for his lamp, only to fumble uselessly in the dark until he found the switch and pressed it. The broken lamp has been replaced with a newer one, all black and sleek and hard plastic. Not as easy to break in his tantrums, he guessed and looked at the clock. It was just past 2am on a Sunday and Riko was sure that there was no going back to sleep yet again, despite his body still feeling the exhaustion of the day. He slumped on his side and looked over to the tidy, empty bed on the other side of the room. Kevin’s bed. Maybe he should cross it, but there was nothing worthwhile on the other side, not now. His eyes wandered about, until they settled on his abandoned racquet stick from morning practice. Fingers curled lazily into themselves as they remembered the weight of it. The weight of this and so much more. Riko climbed out of his bed and picked up the racquet, as he left his room for the stadium.

The halls were dark and empty, so that he had to fumble around the wall until he found a lightswitch and made his way along, with his hand having a firm hold onto his racquet. To his surprise, there was already light on the court when he passed through the entrance. On the court itself was one lonely person sprawled on the floor Riko made out to be Michael. He froze in place, unable to keep down the resurfacing panic from earlier. His voice was like a quiet whistle, but in the vacancy that blank horror had knocked into him, it was already too loud, too alien. Riko startled away and back through the door, slamming it shut behind him. His feet carried him back into the quietness of his room, under the covers, where he stayed with his racquet clutched against his chest until the first Ravens broke the silence outside his room.

It must have been hours of fading in and out of sleep, in, because he was just too exhausted, out, because every time he drifted for too long, the images returned and hauled him back into the waking world. His body was tense and no matter how much he tried, he couldn’t shake it off. Thoughts were interrupted by a sudden knock on the door and a head sticking into his room, calling out for him, cooing something about breakfast. Riko’s stomach turned, he pretended to be asleep. After that, the door closed again and they left him in peace for the longest time. At least till early noon.

“Riko?”, Michael’s voice jolted him right back up, eyes wide and body sweaty again. He almost forgot how to breathe. “Wow there, you don’t look so good.” The older Raven stood in the doorframe, arms crossed and leaning on one leg. His smile as crooked as ever, but there was something off about the image when one side of his face was bruised black and blue. His eyes fell onto the racquet in Riko’s bed, but the boy was too baffled to feel self conscious about it.  
“You were on the court, yesterday.” He said. Michael raised an eyebrow. “Yes. Like you and everyone else.”  
“No, not that… I mean this morning.”  
“Oh.” Now it was Michael’s turn to edge on self consciousness. “You saw me?”  
“You were… on the floor. You weren’t moving.” Riko clutched his blanket, pushing back the incoming images, but Michael saw the horror on his face and, for a reason Riko didn’t understand, laughed.  
“If you were that worried you should’ve come and wake me, not run away.”  
“....what?”  
“I was sleeping.”  
Riko stared at him. “What?”  
“Oh geez that look could kill.”  
He wished Michael would choke on his laughter, as he threw a pillow in his direction. It was caught, which didn’t improve the situation at all, and he received a bemused chuckle in return. “Why were you sleeping on the court floor?”  
“Why are you sleeping with your racquet?”  
Riko squinted. Michael threw the pillow back at him, and said “I had cleaning duty and then I was too tired to get up, simple, huh? And what’s your excuse?”  
“I don’t have to explain myself to you.”  
“Sure, sure.”, he cooed. “Come on, let’s eat, little Captain.”  
Not entirely convinced of the answer, Riko frowned, but thought better than prod more than necessary and got up to leave for the lounge with him.

Some of the Ravens were lazily scattered around the room, sore from training but alert enough to greet Riko as he passed. He received some well meant mocking smirks for sleeping in late, to which he held his chin high as if their eyes couldn’t touch him. Michael meanwhile managed to seize whatever leftover there was from the early breakfast and heated up some more; joined with juice and coffee and all. They were sitting across from each other at the table, a little further away from the rest of the Ravens, though the distance didn’t mean much as everyone would still be able to hear them just fine. “Man, I almost look forward to eating in the cafeteria when classes start. Someone here just can’t get the eggs right.”, Michael said, gazing over the flock of Ravens on the couch and received a finger in the air. Riko couldn’t help but grin.

The afternoon came sooner than he felt like joining in on the revision session with the Ravens and it was only when Michael gave him a prod in the ribs that he finally got up from the couch, where he had joined the other Ravens and their card game, that he would will himself up to follow. There was a meeting room near the changing lockers that would be used for only revisions and other meetings, inhabiting a big surface made up from several tables and several chairs and some more at the side. A whiteboard was placed at the wall with notes from last time still displayed and a TV screen nearby, for those times they would watch a replay and other Exy related footage. While the Ravens and Riko poured into the room, the Captain was already at the whiteboard, standing tight jawed and straight spined next to Tetsuji, who screened every single on of them grim faced. Riko sat down next to Michael at the back as they were the ones to last enter the room.

Tetsuji went on to formally greet them, but the polite tone only lasted about two sentences. He informed them about the newcomers for next semester that had been recruited under his watchful eye and would join the Edgar Allen University fresh off. When he came to mention the handful of children that were there the last few days for him and Riko to examine, his cold eyes fell onto his nephew.

“Due to misjudgements of the jury, there will be no new additions to join Riko’s current place in Evermore. There was also word that the one he specifically thought of recruiting to his Perfect Court ran away after a display of power he does not possess. Note that down to keep in mind. When you get too close to the sun, you will burn and fall. Do you understand, Riko?”

Riko’s body felt like one giant muscle cramping up, his palms sweaty and stomach ready to empty itself right there over the table. He thought he knew what dread felt like, knew the sting of humiliation, but his uncle’s words caught him in an iron grip and shook some more into him. He felt himself moving to bow, but he wouldn’t break the eye contact. “Yes, I understand.”

“You are inexperienced, that’s due to your age, but that arrogance you display is nothing short of foolishness and an embarassement for all of Edgar Allan.”

All eyes were on him and as his will to stand his ground left him, his eyes sunk low, as did his head and he remained sitting tight and ready to take everything Tetsuji would throw at him. The hard sound of the cane hitting the floor, though, took all his thoughts and breath away. He trembled, fists clutching into his knees.

“I will have you stay here after the revision. Your silence is a sign that you clearly still don’t understand what it means to be a Raven. If my words don’t reach you, other methods might.”

His head shoot up again, only to meet relentless, dark eyes that would not leave him be until satisfied; Riko opened his mouth. “Un-” “Master.” It was Michael to break the iron silence of the Ravens. “Master, I believe Riko understood already. Please, consider his age. He’s still young, and-” Tetsuji glared at him and knocked his steel cane against the floor again, as he considered Michael for a whole minute in silence. “Gray, as your name?” Michael sat up straight. “Yes, sir.” “Come here.” Another moment of silence, before the young man got up from his seat and made his way towards his coach. Eyes were pinned on him, but no one talked. The air in the room might as well have been replaced by liquid lead, when the two faced another. Riko was frozen where he sat.

The familiar sound of the cane whistling through the air was the first sound that broke through the silence, followed by the sound of steel meeting flesh, a gasped, choked up scream and Michael’s body curled up on the floor, arms over his head trying to shield himself from the other incoming beatings. And another, and another, and another. The Ravens didn’t flinch, no one dared to, but Riko, knowing that this could have been him, knowing that Michael was made an example in his stead, clenched his jaw tight and begged himself the will to keep quiet. If it wasn’t for Michael, it would have been him. Riko kept thinking this over and over again, every time the cane hit the body, every time his own flesh remembered the sensation. It might have only been half an hour, it might have been two, or days, or weeks, until Michael laid limp on the floor his head and face a bleeding mess that pooled onto the floor. The bottom of the cane settled red and steadily against the floor.

“Get him out of my sight.”, Tetsuji instructed the Captain, who nodded and gestured another Raven to help him carry the man. He turned to address Riko, still hot and cold from the displayed slaughter. “Look at how loved you are, Riko. Make sure you don’t forget that the Ravens are your family. Don’t disgrace them.” Again, he knocked. And then he started the revision session. The Ravens took notes.


End file.
